Questions in a storm. A pandemic. Sheltering in place. Isolation. Fear. It’s been an intense and emotionally charged time. Karen in her words, “Opened the Bilco doors to the storm shelter of her mind.“
What have you learned about yourself during this pandemic?
I’ve learned that I’m human. I’m not a super power that has to get everything done every single day before I go to sleep at night. I discovered that the world will not crumble if everything on my “list” both external and internal is not completed.
Where have you found the most peace?
When the dust settled I found peace in identifying WHO and WHAT my triggers were. Once that happened I worked on what I could do to correct or eliminate the triggers. Talk about lightbulb moments. I turned on stadium lights in some cases. The peace this brings me is immeasurable. I had to make some significant changes in my world that while not popular were needed to bring me overall physical and mental peace.
What do you believe has changed about you?
I have changed in that I am now taking a few steps back and then punting before acting. This extra time and space is allowing me to really look and listen at what is in front of me. Am I still fearless in many situations? Oh yes I am, but my options deserve exploration and I’m taking this time to examine.
What have you been most grateful for?
At first I cursed the virus and the house arrest. Now? I am grateful that it gave me time to reflect and rejuvenate. In organizing my house I found that I have WAY too much stuff. Stuff apparently made me feel whole before. Eliminating said stuff both physically and emotionally has been freeing.
What behavior have you exhibited during this time that you are not proud of?
While I am trying to curb my reactions I am not proud of my potty mouth which can be horrific at times. There were quite a few times when I did visit a store where I was approached by other customers telling me I wasn’t travelling down an aisle the right way. I suppose lashing out at them and telling them where they could go with cutting words was not the best choice. One woman at the gas station received my loudest retort. I hope she forgives my lack of patience during that time. I was frustrated with being home and letting the world’s chaos take me over. It did calm in the following weeks but those first few weeks were rough.
Seek silver linings.
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